The way I see it, one’s grandest gaffes make for the greatest guffaws at dinner parties. So pull up a pew, ’cause I’ve got a few.
The first time I flew overseas at night, I noticed our jet had a travel buddy. I nudged the stranger beside me and pointed out the window to kindly show her the other big bird in the sky, before it passed us by. “That’s the light on the end of the wing,” she informed me. Right then, that’s seat 12A zipping her lip for the rest of the trip.
The time I went to the doctor and, as I tend to do in potentially awkward situations, I thought I’d take the bull by the horns and just get it over with. So as soon as Doc popped out, I got my gear off to save further embarrassment when he reappeared. He looked a bit shocked when he returned. “That won’t be necessary for today’s appointment, please put your clothes back on.” Diagnosis: Mortified Moron.
That night I stayed at a friend’s house and nodded my head that I understood the balcony latch was broken and no I wouldn’t go outside and yes I’d be fine. Next morning, he left for work and I enjoyed a lazy coffee, after which I stepped outside for some air. The balcony door sprung shut immediately. Latch closed. I was stuck. No mobile phone. No nothing. I eventually raised the alarm by yelling down to a jogger who threw his mobile up two storeys. I phoned my friend but he was in a very important business meeting and couldn’t be disturbed. I, on the other hand, was growing increasingly disturbed. Thankfully he’d left some washing out to dry, so as the day got cooler, I rugged up and put my feet up till help arrived. P.S. I now prefer ground floor accommodation.
That time when I decided to go gluten-free and no I’m not intolerant, just intolerable. I was on a long haul flight and excited by the prospect of being served first. You know, due to my special dietary requirements. After my rice cake arrived, I was still pretty hungry so I asked one of the cabin crew if I could please have an alternate meal. Turns out she was new and had to check before performing the switcheroo for the gluten-free you know who. “Sorry Miss but because you’re gluten intolerant the other options might not agree with your condition.” I managed a tentative “…but I’m not really, I was just doing it because….” but by then she was up, up and way down that aisle quicker than you can say “fluffy white croissant with chocolate sauce and…”.
Ok, I’ve served up the appetiser. Now over to you for the mains. What has been your most embarrassing moment?
Linking up today with Essentially Jess for I Blog On Tuesday.