Oops

grey wrong

The way I see it, one’s grandest gaffes make for the greatest guffaws at dinner parties. So pull up a pew, ’cause I’ve got a few.

The first time I flew overseas at night, I noticed our jet had a travel buddy. I nudged the stranger beside me and pointed out the window to kindly show her the other big bird in the sky, before it passed us by. “That’s the light on the end of the wing,” she informed me. Right then, that’s seat 12A zipping her lip for the rest of the trip.

The time I went to the doctor and, as I tend to do in potentially awkward situations, I thought I’d take the bull by the horns and just get it over with. So as soon as Doc popped out, I got my gear off to save further embarrassment when he reappeared. He looked a bit shocked when he returned. “That won’t be necessary for today’s appointment, please put your clothes back on.” Diagnosis: Mortified Moron.

That night I stayed at a friend’s house and nodded my head that I understood the balcony latch was broken and no I wouldn’t go outside and yes I’d be fine. Next morning, he left for work and I enjoyed a lazy coffee, after which I stepped outside for some air. The balcony door sprung shut immediately. Latch closed. I was stuck. No mobile phone. No nothing. I eventually raised the alarm by yelling down to a jogger who threw his mobile up two storeys. I phoned my friend but he was in a very important business meeting and couldn’t be disturbed. I, on the other hand, was growing increasingly disturbed. Thankfully he’d left some washing out to dry, so as the day got cooler, I rugged up and put my feet up till help arrived. P.S. I now prefer ground floor accommodation.

That time when I decided to go gluten-free and no I’m not intolerant, just intolerable. I was on a long haul flight and excited by the prospect of being served first. You know, due to my special dietary requirements. After my rice cake arrived, I was still pretty hungry so I asked one of the cabin crew if I could please have an alternate meal. Turns out she was new and had to check before performing the switcheroo for the gluten-free you know who. “Sorry Miss but because you’re gluten intolerant the other options might not agree with your condition.” I managed a tentative “…but I’m not really, I was just doing it because….” but by then she was up, up and way down that aisle quicker than you can say “fluffy white croissant with chocolate sauce and…”.

Ok, I’ve served up the appetiser. Now over to you for the mains. What has been your most embarrassing moment?

Linking up today with Essentially Jess for I Blog On Tuesday.

26 Comments

  • Reply May 12, 2015

    Fluffy

    I live with one foot permanently in my mouth and am constantly trying to get the other one in as well 😉

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Snap! I know that feeling oh too well. x

  • Reply May 12, 2015

    merilyn

    lol tonia!
    funny stories and you tell them so well! omg! the balcony one was a classic!
    I love your writing!
    sometimes foot in mouth disease here!
    generally there are people who think first and then speak!
    or/and those who think whilst they are speaking and are totally spontaneous and foot in mouth often happens with them!
    I write like that! … but I don’t like talking much, so I’m more of a thinker! and observer!
    I say it’s my job! I like to analyse and phylosophise! … part of my artist archetype!
    I’ve written reams on these things! love it!
    enjoy your day! love m:)X

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Thanks so much Merilyn. I love the thinkers and observers of this world; they have the best insights xx

  • Love this Tonia! I’m pretty sure my moments were that bad, I’ve completely blocked them out.

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Thanks Raychael. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has these kind of missteps.

  • Reply May 12, 2015

    Haidee

    Hehe, I loved this it totally made me giggle because I am so that girl too!

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Hey Haidee, thanks so much for stopping by. Sounds like we’ve got a fair bit in common x

  • Oh I do this ALL the time too! Thanks for the giggle!

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Pleasure, treasure. Some days, I promise myself it’ll all be smooth sailing but generally by about noon I’ve made some kind of golden gaffe. On the upside, I’ve always got fresh dinner party material.

  • Oh goodness…those were some laugh out loud moments {in hindsight for you, I’m sure}. I wish I could have seen the doctor’s face.

    Hmm…I say and do stupid things all the time. But I prefer to forget…repressed memories or something like that. 😛

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Thanks Sanch and I’m with you on the “repressed memories”, I’m sure I’ve got plenty more moments like these but some of them have (thankfully) gone in the vault!

  • Thank you so much, I needed that giggle! Almost spat out my wine on the aeroplane lights!

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Glad you enjoyed it Malinda (sorry about the wine) x

  • Reply May 12, 2015

    Renee Wilson

    Lol. I love that one about you stripping down in front of the doctor. I’ve had a similar awkward experience, but it was with a priest!!! I was at school and took my jumper off thinking I had my uniform on underneath, but that day mum had made me wear just a singlet and not my uniform. Stripped down to my singlet in front of the priest and my school mates. Total embarrassment!

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      Yikes! Oh Renee, I reckon I could fill a book with my “oops” moments. Glad I’m not alone. xx

  • The balcony one was my far and away favourite! Although the doctor came a close second! Pure class! Thanks for putting a smile on my dial!

    • Reply May 12, 2015

      Tonia

      My pleasure Sammie. Do you remember that song “I’ve done all the dumb things”? Some days I think it’s my anthem!

  • Classic! I am forever doing embarrassing things. Your balcony one reminded me of the time my youngest and I got locked out on our back deck. Oldest child at school. Planned play date after school. We could not do anything about it as we were trapped out back with no phone etc. she peed in a pot plant and we passed the time. Thank go eventually when it was way past school pick up the other mother came over with her two and my daughter and they found their way round back after we started calling out as we heard people at the front door. She had to call my husband for me on her phone (first time meeting by the way) and while we waited for him to make it home the kids had a play in the garden and the tossed up some of their snowballs she had brought for afternoon tea. Wonder why we never had another catch up lol.

    • Reply May 13, 2015

      Tonia

      Oh Deb that one takes the cake. I have to say, I’m envious of those snowballs. I would have loved some of them during my lock-out! Glad we can both look back and laugh about our balcony debacles but at the time they’re not much fun, are they? Thanks for sharing your story with me.

  • Had to giggle reading this. One of my embarrassing moments was unfortunately in a job interview. When I was asked what sort of environment I prefer to work in, before I could stop myself, I replied, “like inside or outside?” I sounded like a character from Clueless. OMFG. I was mortified that that response came out of my mouth. Even worse when the interviewer answered with, “um, no”. I just wanted to either curl up under the table in the foetal position until the interviewer left the room, or leap out the window. Needless to say, I did not get the job.

    • Reply May 14, 2015

      Tonia

      Emma, this is AWESOME. I suspect I would have responded in the exact same way. P.S. my favourite “office environment” is working from home! Love this story, thanks for passing it on.

  • Reply May 15, 2015

    Rhianna

    Oh dear xx too funny, thanks for sharing Leaving some belated fairy wishes and butterfly kisses from #teamBOT

    • Reply May 15, 2015

      Tonia

      Thanks Rhianna, have a great weekend.

  • I love that flying overseas one Tonia. Even tougher as you were stuck on that flight! These things happen to me all the time. I call them my regular “blonde moments” 🙂

    • Reply May 18, 2015

      Tonia

      Sounds like we’re a couple of (blonde) peas in a pod, Tash!

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