Why do we need permission?

“Is this a necklace?” I asked.

“No it’s a garland to decorate a kid’s bedroom,” the shop owner replied.

“But could I wear it as a necklace?”

In the name of all that is furry and bright, I don’t know why I needed her to tell me wrong from right. Turns out I wasn’t alone.

“It’s funny you ask that,” she said. “Lots of people have queried whether they could wear it and yeah I guess you could.”

Given the green light, I got that garland round my neck quicker than you can say pom poms r us. As I knotted its string, I got to thinking about why we get so strung up on asking for permission.

I’m not talking about the likes of “is this seat taken”? It’s more like “can I wear black to a wedding?”…”can I quit this job after only six months?”…”can I buy those biscuits even though I had dessert last night?”…”can I leave my regrowth one more week?”…”can I get the 10 even though I’m a size 12?”…”can I use that scarf as a belt?”…

You have permission to call me crazy but this week I’m going to do a little experiment. I’m not going to ask for permission. Not once, not twice, not thrice.

Is that alright with you?

Have you asked for permission lately? When and why?


  • I have a problem with asking for permission or advice about subjective issues. More often than not I discover that the person actually knows just as little as i do, but that doesn’t stop them waffling on like an expert.

    • Reply May 31, 2015


      Love this Gael…I become a bit of an armchair expert every Olympics (which is pretty crazy given I play no sport whatsoever!). Have a good week.

  • Reply May 31, 2015


    another good post thankyou tonia! … as a society, I think we are so trained up these days, to be “copy cats”! this leaves no room for thinking for ourselves! it is a brainwashed society and it’s even dumbing down of the masses and I think it’s a problem! … I personally like to think and work out things for myself! I’m pretty strong minded and I’m an abstract and lateral thinker! it comes with my training as an artist to think outside of the square! … but I’ve always been like that!
    i prefer to say to my partner/daughter/girlfriend, I’m getting these things instead of asking them, unless i really can’t decide and i just want an opinion.
    i hardly ever ask anyone permission for those things really!
    i give myself permission and I’m good at it hun!
    it might come with age!; … love m:)X

    • Reply May 31, 2015


      I love your way of thinking Merilyn! I’m all for thinking outside of the square and totally agree there should be more of it! x

  • Reply June 8, 2015

    tamzen temple

    I think that lady got it wrong anyway. That is so a necklace…. great post.

    • Reply June 8, 2015


      Oh thank you! I’m loving wearing it with a dark jumper to offset the pom poms’ pop of colour.

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